Surfs Up

I’ve been noticing the past few years that there is a plethora of people wearing, and I gag when I say this, Hawaiian Shirts. This is for the uninitiated and uninformed. Let’s get this straight from the start, they are not Hawaiian Shirts, they are Aloha shirts. That’s part of the deal dudes and dudettes; you got to get the lingo right if you’re going to live the life! I mean, if you’re really want to be Coola phonic, going to hang 5, cruise in your bitchin’ Woody with your bunny, and hang out with the Big Kahuna you got to get it down.

So dudes and dudettes, here’s the lowdown on the greatest fashion in the world.

First, and this is cardinal. NEVER (in caps for a reason) tuck in your Aloha shirt. That is akin to wearing white socks with your sandals…c’mon dudes.

Second, Aloha shirts should not have creases in them; it defeats the entire aura of wearing them. If you’re going to be wearing an Aloha shirt with a crease in it you miss the whole point!

Third and this one could be open for discussion if you were writing this blog, but you’re not, the pen is mighty Third is material. Rayon is king; it is the material of the shirt. Silk is number two, and cotton, well, if it’s going to be cotton you ain’t hit the groove yet.

Fourth, the type of prints used on your shirt. This is a hard one to explain, and it is where the laid back dudes are separated from the suits. Prints are intuitive, you either got it or you don’t. Unlike many things this can’t be taught. A few definite no go’s are shirts with Tabasco bottles on them, shirts with square and boxes on them (get it? Squares?), and shirts with NASCAR cars on them, sorry dudes, they just don’t’ cut it.

You should also know a few things if you’re wearing an Aloha shirt. You should be able to hum some Alfred Alpaka tunes, know where the Aloha Shirt Museum is, know some of the history of the shirt, and obviously know some Jimmy Buffet songs by heart. It helps too if you can strum a uke, and wear Roy Orbison Ray Bans.

I hope this helps, remember, Aloha is a state of mind.